Women, let's talk about sex.

Sex is an issue which divides generations, gender, education, class and just about everything else, despite being a simple fact of life for 100% of the human race. Especially in a culture where sex is everywhere but at the same time forbidden and sordid, open honest and truthful information about the subject is a positive contribution to the life of the individual, the community and yes, even the world.

Salem, Oregon is now home to a female owned, women oriented shop selling sensual delights. Right next to Subway at 1326 State Street just outside the main portion of downtown you'll find Enigma. I'm a big fan, and hope they see a groundswell of support, both from those who already have no qualms about exploring and maintaining the sexual energy in their lives (which can imbue life into everything from gardening to paying bills to, well, sex), but also those who have always wondered, had questions, or fantasies.

Life's too short; move those fantasies over into the "to do" list.

Forget everything you've ever seen or heard about "an adult store" before. The shop is small, bright, stylish, and comfortable. There is no garish porn; there are no video booths or sneering men looking around. In fact, the place looks like a boutique store selling a plethora of iMac-like items as the trend in toys has gone toward beautiful packaging, bright colors and sensual product design.

Seriously. GO. If you've never been into a store selling these items before, GO NOW. Grab a friend. Walk right in like you own the place, or giggle and titter like you're 13 years old. BUT GO. Even if the only result is, "Wow, I never knew..." You can then say you've been there, seen that.

But I dare you to walk out without buying something, even if it's just a little ampule of scented/flavored massage oil. And please do -- supporting your local businesses is so important. :-)

Be sure to check out the tall glass display case showing what you thought your grandmother didn't know: late 19th and early 20th century vibrating machines sold by doctors and even in the Sears catalog as a cure for the womenly ailment known as "hysteria." (See The Shaky Past of Adult toys, written by yours truly for Salem Monthly back in 2006.)

The real reason for my writing is to implore women (and those that love them) in Salem to support the store, and there's no better way to help raise this energy in Salem than to support an upcoming event. They are hosting Tristan Taormino for a two hour Human Sexuality class that should be on everyone's transcript. Even if you know it all and think you could teach this class yourself, I implore you to go. Go to show your support for this type of energy and endeavor in our community. Go to show other women that this is important, and go to show Salem that intelligent, educated information about sexuality is more powerful than all the seedy porn shops the interstates can hold.

Yes, I'm going. And if anyone wants to go, but needs a hand to hold while walking in the door, just call me and we'll make it happen. Otherwise, drop by or call to let them know you're coming. Buy a ticket for yourself. Buy a ticket and give it to your adult daughter as a gift. Buy a ticket for a friend. Buy a ticket for your Mom.

The event is NOT for women only; men and women are openly invited. But I see this as a real opportunity for women, many of which may not have avenues such as this to openly communicate about sexuality.

See below for the posted event details.

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO WOMEN'S SEXUAL PLEASURE

With: Tristan Taormino

Discover the ABCs of sexual pleasure for women, from the basic to the advanced in a supportive, non-judgmental environment. Hear Tristan's unabashed straight talk about sex in the Human Sexuality class that most people never get to take! She'll cover a variety of topics, including: sexual anatomy, masturbation, orgasms, improving your erotic communication skills, finding the elusive g-spot, myths and truths about female ejaculation, sex toy tips and techniques, and the wonders of anal sex. There will be an extensive question-and-answer period where students are encouraged to ask her anything.

When: Thursday, March 18, 2010. 7:30 - 9:30PM (All genders welcome.)

Where: Enigma 1326 State St Salem OR

Cost: $25/per person

Student Rate: $20

Phone: (503) 569-7087

Email: contact@ourenigma.com

If you know of a women's group in the Salem Metro Area, please point them to this post or to Enigma's web site (which has some usability issues, which is why I am posting all the information here).

Garden giving you too much bounty? Here's what to do with it!

Community Harvest Swap
Saturday, August 15th, 2009 – 1:00pm – 5:00pm
First congregational United Church of Christ – 700 Marion St. NE

Join the Salem Creative Network and City Repair Project of Portland for a free event in the parking lot of the United Church of Christ downtown. CRP’s T-Horse, a traveling art exhibit offering free tea and conversation will be a focal point of the gathering, and we will be creating a giant chalk drawing in the parking lot with a natural theme. Neighbors are encouraged to attend and participate in the drawing.

Please bring excess garden produce to swap with other gardeners and donate the leftovers to MPFS (Marion Polk Food Share).

Stop by and help build your community!

How and why I Twitter.

It's stunning how much press Twitter gets. Seriously. Salem Monthly's cover story is about the top Tweeters in Salem. What's interesting, is that I didn't have hardly any of these on my radar. Who knew?

Admittedly, I was a nay-sayer some time ago; for quite some time I resisted the call to Tweet, thinking, and I quote, "That's the dumbest fucking thing ever."

Yeah, well... I was wrong. Back then, what Twitter was used for, at least when I dipped my foot in during the very early stage, was shallow and self absorbed updates about life's minutiae that no one would really care about. When I came to Twitter again a few months ago... perhaps I was different, perhaps the zeitgeist had matured, whatever: I got it, and it got me.

Now and then I do post something stupid, personal and of no use whatsoever -- one of those things that lets friends keep a finger on your pulse, so to speak. But mostly... I want nuggets. To give and receive nuggets. Nuggets of information. Suggestions. Pointers. Insights.

I prefer them to be authentic, so I decry the rampant sales hawking that is going on, increasingly, but whatchagonnado? Our brand of capitalism runs roughshod over everything in the pursuit of a buck. For god's sake there's not even a holiday that is sacred any longer.

I follow those who, aside from being simply amusing, share information. It might be about #SalemOR, or #glass, or... insert any keyword you can think of here. I follow a fairly small number of people, because with the likes of Tweet Deck, software available for the Mac, iPhone and other platforms, I can see all those users in my usual feed, but I can search the entire Twitterverse any time I want, and even keep running mini-feeds based on keywords.

(I swore I was not going to use the word "Twitterverse." But I couldn't resist.)

I'd rather be able to read the vast majority of Tweets by people I give a rats patootie about (and thus follow) and then be able to gleen the rest through well crafted searches.

At work, I'm often pointed to in meetings and someone will say, "I bet you Twitter!" because I openly describe myself as a geek. I admit that yes, I do, and some people look at me in awe, others scoff and imagine me sitting at home alone with nothing else to do, a can of Red Bull in one hand and a 2 liter of Mountain Dew Game Fuel in the other, and others quietly say, "I've been thinking of Twittering, but I'm not sure how..."

But it's useful. Really. Now, if you're the type that will still spend five minutes in search of a print phone book instead of using your smart phone to look up a phone number, you will not understand this. But I encourage you to read on, nonetheless.

This pocket of connections that are with me anywhere my iPhone gets service is useful. I've known some of my contacts for years. While we may be miles or continents apart, their little bursts keep me in touch with at least a thread of their lives, making keeping up easier. I've never met a lot of others. And some, I just haven't met... yet. But they all have a diverse background of knowledge, and, at any given time, know things or have access to resources that I may not.

All I have to do is ask and... voila... they answer. I've been in a new area and given a Tweet asking for dining recommendations. Or asked if anyone knew what was the cause of a traffic hold up when I couldn't discern the cause using my usual news sources. Not only do I find the answer at my fingertips, but I learn about a new resource or tool in the process.

That's score x 2, my friend!

Here's some useful linkage:

Find your first Tweet: myfirsttweet.com
TweetDeck, my fav Twit app : tweetdeck.com
Track who owes you a beer/coffee/lunch: foamee.com

And there are two blue billion other apps; they are coming so fast Mashable can't even keep up with them.

Building Community in Salem

Are you one of the many who are in Salem, finding themselves loving Salem, and looking for others who feel the same way and want to work together to continue to improve Salem? Or perhaps you DON'T love Salem, and want to make it more to your liking. Maybe you don't even KNOW much about Salem, but find yourself here and want to learn more and connect.

Here's something you might want to check out: Salem NOW! - A Revolution in Local Community. Check out the event on Facebook.

Join in the meeting on April 14th @ 6pm in the Locks Auditorium at the Salem Public Library. Whatever your "thing" is, and whoever you are, come contribute your energy to the project. It's a work in progress, and the future is in our hands.

Young, old, progressive, conservative, whatever color or shape; as long as you value a diverse community that is connected and engaged -- come lend your thoughts!

I'm going, and would be happy to have anyone join me. Just drop me a line.

Salem Community Garden Info

We have a few raised beds and containers in our back yard. But as our entire lot is only about a quarter acre, it's difficult to get a really big garden going. Salem does have a number of community garden plots, and the idea seems to be growing. No pun intended. There's one over on Center Street and I'm thinking of perhaps getting one of their plots; I think they are 15' x 55' and are only $35. It would be fun to grow some crops which take more space.

If you are interested in community gardens in Salem, in just over a week is your chance to get connected with the group, learn more, and get involved.

Community Potluck/Garden Planning Session @ Marion Polk Food Share (see map below for location)
Monday, March 16th from 6-8pm
We will be coming together at this potluck to focus on the spring garden fair and youth garden program, as well as to create a time line in connection with resources and volunteer projects.


View Larger Map

Through various phone calls and postings, I found who the main contact is:

Jordan Blake
Garden Project Manager
Marion-Polk Food Share
(office) 503.581.3855 x 323
(mobile) 503.798.0457
www.marionpolkfoodshare.org

Can you tell I have spring fever... very badly? Today it was gloriously sunny and 42, then dropped to almost freezing at it SNOWED like a blizzard, and then went back to 40something and sunny. Argh!

Some things you simply must learn on your own.

Life in the olden days was so simple; when you said something, you could look around the room and realize in total who heard you, and from knowing those present, know who would likely get access to the information.

Not so with our incessant, always-on and unfiltered global reality of e-mail, blogs, Twitter, etc. I'm glad I'm not this guy.

I learned the hard way myself; I posted material to my personal blog was was more about my own inner turmoil and frustration, but I'd transferred it to my job at the time. (Truth be told the job and the people there, while not without issues, were wonderful.) I'd just left that position to go back to school full time. I had no idea my boss read my blog, or would even have any desire to read my blog.

What was I thinking? I wasn't... that was the problem.

My boss did indeed read my blog, and he read a post that, in hindsight, was mortifying. It was wrong of me to have even said it, doubly so to have written it... and just plain stupid to have not restricted it to friends but to allow it to be public!

(After sharing my elation as to having quit, I think I described the job as having smothered my soul. Reality is that the issue was not the job, but rather my own fear of switching directions. My factory programming told me to stay where I was, don't think about jumping tracks or trying something new even if the potential benefits were many. It was still a "risk" and therefore bad bad bad. It was my inability to confront that programming and to make the change that left me frustrated and dissatisfied, limited and tortured.)

He printed it out and gave it to the director, who understandably took it very personally. When I stopped by to visit not long afterward, she and I had a pleasant chat... and then she pulled a printout of the post out and asked me about it. I was mortified. Reality hit me hard: how immature I was being in handling my frustration, how textbook I was being in displacing that frustration into something else, and amazed at how stupid I could have been to, in effect, get on a soapbox and shout what I'd said from the top of my lungs and not expect anyone to hear/know/care.

(In hindsight, it was the inpetus for a very important element of personal growth: I changed not only how I looked at things, but what I chose to share about things as well. Once known as someone who loved to bitch and moan, I became much more oriented in identifying problems and finding solutions, and leaving everything else aside. Yes, I still kevetch now and then, but it's done in a different form.)

We talked about it, I did my best to explain, and we parted with a hug--but after that the connection went dead cold, and the bridge was clearly burned.

This was a group and a woman with whom when I'd tenured my resignation, there were tears and promises of, "If you ever need anything, anything... just call. You can come back anytime!" But that was before the post. A lack of strong connection with anyone there at the office outside of work meant the caustic damage had been done before I'd even known about the problem. I'm sure my name is mud there, or worse yet, I'm always referred to as "Remember the woman who..."

This woman had shared openly how she had made incredibly public, dire blunders before, and how she had overcome them. I only hope she recalled these moments as one of my own played out!

Twitter. Eh.

I admit, some time ago I didn't "get" Twitter. Even now, it's not like I couldn't live without it. Yet, I find myself explaining it, and championing it, to others as of late. Quite by accident, I stumbled upon this great piece that does it very, very well.



I love the quick, straightforward style, and the low tech animation is cute and effective. Awesome!