It's somewhat shocking to realize that on May 30st*, Scot and I will have been married for 21 years, and together for three days over 24. Years. As in 8,760 days. We met and started dating in 1989, before I was even out of high school. We married in college in 1992, and there's no dramatic, romantic backstory: we were living together, and in our hearts we were already married. We just woke up one morning, in the wake of a friend who had a significant accident, and realized if something happened to one of us, the other would be the last person informed. "Do you wanna get married?" "Yeah, sure," was how the conversation went.
Some people have been saddened when I tell them this, which perplexes me; to me it's an amazing, wonderful thing because at that young age, we were already there, married in our hearts and minds where it really matters, without the pomp and circumstance, a big rock, a fancy party, a religious proclamation, etc. It was already there, and we didn't need any of that other stuff. (We had a very simple, small ceremony with a justice at a local park with only the barest of family and friends in attendance.)
It's that which has gotten us through the troubles we've encountered in those 24 years: finding ourselves and growing up while growing together; navigating the challenges of choosing and setting priorities, perhaps made easier by the decision to not have children ("child free by choice,") but also made more difficult by that same divergence from the cultural norm; and finding a way to make one the path of two people who are by our very natures very dis-similar, but having become a little more similar in the years that have gone by.
24 years. Shit, that can't be. It just can't. Doesn't feel like the interminably long time that sounds like! We still talk about everything and nothing. Just the other day he made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself and died from asphyxiation, simultaneously. (Almost; I said, "Almost.") We try to call each other on our shit, and support each other through the rest.
It seems very fitting that over this weekend, Scot's friend from high school, Brent, is coming to visit. He was somewhat instrumental in getting us together. It's been a while since we've seen one another, and it's his first time out here. It's just happenstance to be around this time. Kinda cool.