Sunday, April 12, 2009

An open letter to the neighbor.

Your dog's yapping is not the worst thing in the world. It's her excitement and joy at being alive, and an expression of her self-held bad assed-ness as she alerts you to all the really important things in life, such as that bird in the yard, or the fact that the dogs which have lived next door for almost 3.5 years now are yet again in their yard.

It's not a bother. Really.

What is less than desirable, however, is your screaming and yelling at her, sometimes through clenched teeth. Usually, this happens after she's been barking for ten minutes, which, if you must know, is not an effective training method.

Dog yapping = happy sound. Angry woman screaming like a banshee = pain in my ass.

So please: stop it.

That is all.

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